Thus marks the northern terminus of an extended stroll through the wilderness.
I thought I would feel more. No real sense of accomplishment or even finality; no grievance, no relief...I honestly feel sedated, numb, and the calm euphoria that accompanies carelessness.
I cannot account for this, nor do I even have any real theories about it. Maybe the magnitude of completing something so huge has not yet sunk in? Maybe I am mistaken that this event is indeed one of magnitude? Maybe it is all about the journey, not the destination (though that sounds like such a cop-out...)?
What I do feel: I do miss the woods, but I do love clothes, food, etc. I am overjoyed that the Sox are doing so well. I feel changed in some way, though I cannot put my finger on it...the best way to describe it is that I feel quieter. More like a reed than the wind.
I think that adventures such as thru-hiking the Appalachian Trail are perhaps no different than the walk through a day in the life--we are all people, living in this reality that we can't be positive even exists, so why differentiate one journey from another? Yes, I am in love with the trail. Yes, it was an incredibly important experience for me to have. I do not mean to minimize its impact. But in a sense, all experiences can be treated thus.
And so, I'll just say again that thru-hiking the AT is but a section-hike on the thru-hike of life, and the trail ALWAYS provides.
Bootsie I find so much truth in your posts I truly enjoy reading them and hope that you may continue posting for all of us to enjoy. I recently finished a 10 day vipassana course and share your shock in not feeling that accomplishment at the end, it's not an immediate change the journey in itself is the change and in have found in everyday life I see those changes affecting me. Like I said earlier I hope you keep posting.
ReplyDeleteMuch love - Dylan