Let me see let me see let me see...
In Thailand, we eat lots of coconuts, yes? Its milk resides in our food, its water hydrates us on the street, its oil soothes our dirty feet (more on this later) and sautees our chilis and rice...and where do we get these coconuts?
Trees, yes--but who gets them?
If you thought monkeys--you're right!
(I can't quite name the cause for the perpetually dirty feet. This is not an exceedingly dirty place. AND nobody keeps their shoes on indoors. And yet--scrubbing is futile. I must get one of these popular massages, if only for the preliminary foot scrub. My school has a dress code of black shoes...and all said shoes ever do is sit outside of the classroom I'm in).
Monkeys get the coconuts. These monkeys are bought (from the Jungle?) by coconut farmers, enrolled in "Monkey College" for a reasonable tuition fee, and 6 months later, these little guys have been trained to pick 1,000--that's right folks, 3 zeroes--1,000 coconuts/day for their masters. On a chain.
I don't mean to raise a stink, but I visited the monkey college last Sunday, and I am simply reporting what I saw. Yeah, it is cute that a monkey on a chain can ride on a motor bike and untie a knot...but doesn't it sound a bit like slavery?
Hell, this is not a Thai problem--this is a human race problem. We do it everywhere.
Sheesh. I really did not want to start this off with such spice! A little sweetness:
Today I was introduced to my Thai teaching counterparts. An interesting note: all female.
Oh, and the cackling did ensue!! How I adore the Thai cackle!! Again--we are talking unadulterated unbridled uncontrollable laughter that persists for extended periods of time and is encouraged in any situation. What a joy to witness!
And all I had to say was ชื่อของฉันคือกรงขัง (pom chew Nick kap)--or in terms you may have a better chance at understanding: My name is Nick--and the room was thumping, I mean thumping, with joy. Can't beat that.
And how do the Thais welcome farang (foreigners) into their community? A bit of healthy sport!
Chair ball: A mixture between basketball, ultimate frisbee, and rugby. 2 teams of 6--1 person from each team stands at the end of the court on a chair holding a basket, and each team tries to move through defense with a volleyball and put it in their basket, which can be moved in any which way as long as the basket keeper stays on the chair. No dribbling or moving with the ball.
When your boss of bosses, the principal herself, is staring you down with feverish fury in her eyes as she charges with every intent to either steal the ball or lay you flat on your ass, you know it's business time. The Thais take their chair ball very seriously. And all the lovable hyenas on the sidelines cackling and cheering away with every dip dive and duck.
The farang delivered a fair snubbing in the first half but were quickly humbled by a retaliatory whipping in half 2. The Thais would not go down easily. It came down to a tie breaker--a shootout!--and just by chance 'twas I with ball in hand, needing to sink a bucket to secure a victory.
What happened? Let's just say we taught 'em farang ain't nothin' to be messed with. I reflexively supplied a spontaneous rendition of an American Football touchdown dance...oh the cackles!
I have found a gym. A kickass gritty gym that reminds be of an old boxing gym in Southie--you half expect Marky Mark to pop out of nowhere and bust a cap in yer wicked fuckin' ass. I have a favorite "restaurant" (street food vendor). I know 1 shortcut. I have doubled my Thai this last week. I did my laundry (well, I dropped it off at one of the ubiquitous street-laundresses and came back a few hours later to a neatly folded bag of lemony smelling clothes). I frequent the same coffee shop AND I order the same thing every time (fuckin' watermelon pineapple slushy so good...)
The point is: I am not just visiting. I am home. My life with a Thai accent, a kick of green chili--and moderated by some coconut monkey slave milk.
Can't wait to start educating these little buggers. The kids, I mean.
Until later....ทั้งหมดคือความสุขทั้งหมดที่มีความสุข
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