The small amount I write here is all you see, all you know.
This is a minuscule representation of my life, but it is all you have!
I bet it must be easy to apply what I write to form a subjective definition of my identity.
Did you already know this?
It just occurred to me, sitting in class missing home thinking about how I just told todo mundo how little I miss home.
Perhaps I am being presumptuous and please reserve your defenses, even from yourselves. I would like to say something for the sake of my own clarity and tranquility (I have clearly not made the tranquil transition to a fully differentiated state yet, viu?):
Please understand that this is a very small part of who I am, it does not define me, and it may seem hypocritical because I am never one thing or another. What I write is not who I am, although being me, I could easily play that game on the other side of things. I hope you are psychoanalyzing me.
Perhaps all this is obvious. Apologies will not be given.
Everything I say you can fully believe but nothing I say can you accept as true.
No, I will not tell you what to do.
It is impossible for me to be completely free of anxiety. Maybe if I accept this it will happen. Life sure seems weird sometimes.
Completeness does not exist!! Nothing is absolute!! Except this statement!!! Life sure seems weird sometimes.
Life is never "normal" but figuratively speaking it is normal right now for me. Just, daily. Like always--but figuratively speaking of course. Instead of being subject to epic moments, I can focus more on thinking understanding learning realizing.
Back forth back & forth. Everything is a process. There is no such thing as perfection; thus, imperfection is perfect (Life? Weird, yeah, I know). Not everything as it is, but everything as it should be. We strive and we get closer but we never get there and this is good (who makes judgments like this is another unanswerable question).
Good. A great word, good. Good. Good! Say it! Good. Good!
I used to turn away from challenge. I used to be lazy. Now I have swung too far. Now I am looking for the middle. I need to be fed--and seeking food does not do it. The middle does. Seeking and letting too.
Another thing I would like to say: Every time I listen to The Beatles I am reminded of true genius. Gosh, they are great, huh!?
I got my wish. I got to learn more. I got to create more. I had this opportunity. I let it into my house.
March 2011
1. Are you male or female? I wanna be your man
2. Describe yourself: Wild honey pie
3. How do some people feel about you? It's only love
4. How do you feel about yourself? I'm only sleeping
5. Describe your interests: Your mother should know (Some things are simply irresistible)
6. Where are you: Here, there, everywhere
7. Where would you rather be? Strawberry Fields, forever
8. Describe what you want to be: Dizzy, Miss Lizzy!
9. Describe how you live: Tomorrow never knows
10. Describe how you love: Within you without you
11. Describe what you hate: Because...Tell my why?
12. Describe how you feel right now: Here comes the sun
13. Describe a former boyfriend/girlfriend/love interest: Carry that weight
14. Describe your current boyfriend/girlfriend/love interest: Golden slumbers
15. Describe your closest friend: Lovely Rita
16. Describe your friends: Rock and roll music
17. Something you wished you had: All you need is love
18. Something that you can't live without: Misery (and glad of it)
19. If there's one thing you could do right now what would it be: Wait
20. Advice you'd give to yourself if you were someone else: Don't pass me by
Time for a breast massage from my own personal meter maid.
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