Where I've been and what I am

After a lonely wet dirty bike ride, I arrived home feeling pretty depressed. 

I got very nostalgic to be 16 again--I thought how nice that would be. No responsibilities. Just having fun. And being the crazy child I was. 

I dug out my old Livejournal--a blog of sorts. I can't believe it is still online--I stopped posting in it in 2006. But there are 2 years worth of almost daily posts. I spent 2 hours and got only 2 months in. 

And it is...I can't even explain it. Really, a trip. I have changed so much. But everyone knows that. It is the similarities that are so striking. Saying things like "man I wish I had no responsibilities." And all of those other lifelong universalities that we cannot avoid even with age or sleep. 

And it was really goddamn funny.

And you know--those were the funnest times of my life. But not the best. I am a real person now. And even though I feel boring and unfulfilled, I am happy to be who I am today. I would rather be me today than me 5 years ago. I am one thing instead of many things.

And that is pretty cool to say: I am satisfied with who I am in this moment. I look forward to changing tomorrow.