Firstly, an ode to the bidet gods:
O gracious gods of bidets, I thank thee for the bountiful blessings you bestow upon my bottom
I am ever grateful and in your service, though I do not know how to literally reciprocate the favor
Thanks to you, the refreshment I feel after eating feijoada rivals that of a post-salad defecation
I return to thee the love and care that I have received
A clean bottom provides clarity and peace of mind.
On a different note:
Apparently, it is very important here to always "fica cheiroso," or to smell good. People shower 3-4 times a day and wear lots of cologne/perfume. Body odor is not acceptable.
This is going to be problematic for me. I actually like the smell of BO--on myself and on members of the opposite sex. Shit--I am lucky if I get a shower every other day! And here I am with my salt deodorant crystal. Look out, brasileiros! A not-so-cheiroso Americano is in town!
And on that note, we cue the music. BAM!
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