Grateful for the bad things especially

Yesterday was an interesting day and I learned a lot. 

Mostly, it was difficult. Exhaustion is epidemic among American exchange students in Brasil and I am no exception. So are generalizations. 

Everything seemed to be dragging. Brazil lacked luster yesterday. THIS incredibly small but huge part of it did anyways. 

For a moment, everything worked out perfectly. After desperately searching for meetings and how to get to one, I found one pertinho (real close) to my house--and it happens 7 days a week, and early too, at 1800. I took this not as a stroke of luck but as a result of my prayers the day before. 

I had time planned for my recovery. A glorious feeling itself. After spending an hour and half at "a secret location" (if I disclose this information here surprises will be ruined), I was so spent, and I had my laptop on me, and I just wanted to get home and drop it off and then figure out what to do. Time was running out though....

However. Gracas a Deus, my bus, the exact bus I needed, passed right by me. Again, Gracas a Deus, it hit a red light. My sprinting skills are still intact, even in sandals and with a heavy load. Got that bus. Had about a million people on it, but I got it. 

Then came the rains. Floods. 40 minutes and 40 seconds. Our ark brought us to salvation--to a figurative state and literal place of regeneration.  

I arrived at another beautiful church with 1 minute to spare. The welcome I received was...I can't even describe it....it just made me feel wonderful. Here I am. A recovering American drug addict in Brazil. Away  from my system. And here I am. Finding my system again. The same guys and girls. The same basic text. The same keytags. I just felt at home. 

Yes--it was frustrating, a bit, because I could not understand a lot that people were saying. A lot of slang and fast talking. But I got the sentimentos. I could relate. Feel it. Yeah. 

Got a Portuguese basic text and some phone numbers. 

As I left, and later on as I was doing some writing, I realized: I am not as open-minded as I think I am. Or willing. Or humble. I have my own ways, beliefs; I don't want to change them and I think they are the best. But people--I am just a person too. A small person. But an important person. I am responsible, in society. 

It was just a really humbling experience. To feel this way--this one small person walking down the street in a huge world, completely open, and completely powerful. 

I was griping about my difficulties of my day to myself. But by the end of it I was more grateful for the day's difficulties than the day's fruits. Because I am not on a cloud. Life is real. Brazil is wonderful and difficult. So is Virginia, and Boston. I have a hunch everywhere is. I feel the balance of a daily routine set in, and I feel healthy. 

When I got home, I talked with Tia Eleanor for a long time, an hour maybe. I told her that I am an addict and that I was at a meeting. She asked me how I knew. I told her I had help from a woman who loves me very much. Of course--this led to the necessary dropping of the age card (Oh--is she the same girl on your calendar? No, that is her daughter....)--but folks, Tia No is wonderful. It is a difficult conversation to have in English, let alone Portuguese--addiction and age differences--because there is the pervasive worry that the explicee will judge. But she took it with an open mind and open heart. We talked for awhile. I told her I think that honesty is the best way to go and I think she is great and I am really grateful for her--she told me I am a good boy. Then we watched Law and Order (made me miss you, Mom). I fell asleep feeling extremely content. Not just happy. Filled up and calm.

Sigh. I am going to go for a descansinho (my favorite word--literally meaning "little rest," but in popular usage, simply a nap) now before the FOOTBALL GAME tonight. I don't even know who is playing. But I am ready to go nuts! 

Tchau amigos. Beijos para voces.

(thumbs up)